Gear talk for the GAS-afflicted.

Like his beard, Zakk Wylde’s signature guitars just keep getting more stupid looking

Like his beard, Zakk Wylde’s signature guitars just keep getting more stupid looking

Oct 19, 2013

Yeah, you heard me.

Talking to you, Jeff Wielandt.

Sure… in the early days when Zakk was fresh on the scene, a magnificent new foil to Ozzy, his signature guitar was a fearsome looking thing:

Zakk_Wylde

Classic LP design with a distinctive aesthetic, and functional spec changes to match Zakk’s brand of tonal mayhem. I don’t know about you, but I think the original Bullseye sigs are AWESOME.

However, over the years, in some sort of reverse-Samsonian disorder, Zakk’s beard continued to grow, and it sapped his ability to play varied, interesting lead work, as well as his taste in signature guitars.

zwylde

 

These days, our boy Zakk will pretty much slap a bullseye on anything and call it a Zakk Wylde signature guitar. Or don’t even worry about the bullseye. Case in point, this (quite literally) boxy piece of poo poo right here:

We're making it limited edition cos we know no one will ever buy one.

We’re making it limited edition cos we know no one will ever buy one.

So you ask… at this point, can it get worse?

Well, I dunno about worse, but it’s certainly on par. Introducing the “Zakk Wylde Moderne of Doom”. Jesus Christ, who can even say that name with a straight face without punching themselves in the balls?

zakkwyldemoderne_638

 

And here’s the nice fluff that Gibson are spewing about this mish mash of badly angled lines (hey, they can’t even get a bullseye pattern right these days…)

Gibson has unveiled the limited-edition Zakk Wylde Moderne Of Doom guitar based on the legendary-yet-never-released third member of the Modernist Series of the late 1950s — the Gibson Moderne. Intended to complement the revolutionary Explorer and Flying V, the Moderne never saw the light of day, though rumors of existing examples persist to this day. In the hands of Gibson USA, the radical Moderne style taken from factory design sketches of 1958 unfolds as an unrelenting, flamethrowing modern-rock tone machine.

With a body constructed from a solid Grade-A mahogany with Grade-A maple top, the Zakk Wylde Moderne Of Doom launches its attack with time-tested tonewoods. But it quickly takes the look to another planet with the ultra-radical Moderne body style and a natural nitrocellulose finish with Zakk-certified black pinstripe top graphic. A glued-in Grade-A maple neck is carved to Zakk‘s preferred profile for full-on shred, and topped with a beautiful dark Grade-A Richlite fingerboard. A pair of Zakk‘s beloved EMG active humbuckers — an EMG 85 in the neck position and an EMG 81 in the bridge — provides unequalled power and sustain for everything from crunch-of-doom rhythm licks to hellfire leads. And to take the guitar’s versatility to the next level, there’s a Floyd Rose vibrato with locking nut ready to scream out your wildest dive-bombing action.

With matte-black pickup covers, black hardware, and a trio of black speed knobs, the Zakk Wylde Moderne Of Doom has the wild looks to match Wylde‘s tone. Feel the heat now at your authorized Gibson USA dealer — production is limited to 250 guitars, so secure yours before it’s too late.

What the crap.

Discuss.

 


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